I've been very lucky in my life. The good times have far outweighed the bad times. Weddings, birthdays, holidays, babies and wonderful relationships with hundreds of people have been wildly more abundant then losing family or friends. I've been especially lucky in the fact that nobody intimately close to me has died suddenly or tragically.
I have, unfortunately, been intimately close to those who have lost someone tragically. It's a terrible feeling in it's own right. I can't imagine it's anywhere close to what is experienced when someone in your inner circle is taken too early. I know that I want to take the pain that they have and make it my own...but there's no way to do that. Everyone eventually loses someone where it's life-altering. A parent, a best friend, a child. When you lose someone like that, especially suddenly, you don't wake up the next day to the same life. This hasn't happened to me yet. I've had friends, even family members pass away. I've been sad. I've cried. But the reality is that I woke up the next morning and probably did the same thing that I would have done anyways, for the most part.
I've been lucky. I've dodged bullets up to this point in my life. It's been a good run so far. I don't know why that is the way it is. There are better people than me that have had much worse things happen to them. So why? Good luck trying to figure that one out. It doesn't matter if you go to church every day of your life, if you've given millions to charity, or if you've been a perfect spouse or parent or brother or sister. When it's your time, it's your time. On the other end of the spectrum, you could be a total asshole, a thief, a murderer, a deadbeat dad, a wife beating belligerent drunk or a lifelong heroin addict. You could live a full, luxurious, long life and have nothing but the best of luck.
I get sad when I think of people not knowing when it is the last time they'll ever see their loved ones. I'm sad for the woman who is sleeping while her husband and father of her child leaves for work while they sleep, and he's killed in a car accident on his way home to see them. I'm sad for that same man, who kisses his wife and child while they sleep, goes to work just like every other day, and his last thought while he's pinned inside his car is, "I wish I could see my wife and child one last time."
What about all the people in Haiti or Japan who woke up and planned on it just being another day, and an earthquake devastates their entire existence? What about the tsunami in Indonesia? Just a beautiful day at the beach, and 20 minutes later, sheer terror and tragedy.
Can you believe it's been almost 10 YEARS since September 11, 2001? My heart still breaks for the thousands of people affected by that day. I can't wrap my brain around the people who woke up on that Tuesday morning and just went to work, and before lunch time, were trapped in a building wishing they could see their families just ONE more time...maybe wishing they had just a PICTURE of their family close by. Maybe they wondered, "Why is this happening to ME? I've lived such a good life and been such a good person..."
You want to know what I did on Wednesday, September 12, 2001? I woke up at the same time, had the same thing for breakfast, and went to work, just like the day before. The world was different, and even though my thoughts and feelings about a lot of things had changed....my life was virtually the same as the previous day.
The day will come when someone so close to me will pass away that it will alter my life. I'll wake up the next day and life will be different. This happens to everybody eventually. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves how precious and short and sometimes tenuous life is. Sometimes a tragic event happens that reminds us anyways.
Why all the doom and gloom? I wish that all nine of you reading this will never have to experience any of the above. Chances are someday we will, maybe not to the extent of the above, but it will alter our lives.
So my point? Instead of wasting time by worrying about things, call your mother. Go visit your grandparents. Tell your wife she's the most beautiful woman you've ever seen. Have your baby sister and her family over for dinner. Let your husband know how much you love him. Go fishing or shopping with your best friend. Send your girlfriend flowers. Go to a baseball game with your father or grandfather or son or even all of you together. Say "I love you" to your parents, even if your family isn't all 'lovie' like that. Make your older brother or sister see how much you appreciate them. Hug your kids and tell them you love them EVERY DAY. Some day, hopefully no time soon, it will be the last time you'll be able to.
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