When I was 17....no, that's the name of the show on MTV...haha, get it? It's like a play on words. This week's episode, Ashley, Lala, and Brittany. Don't worry, I've never heard of any of them either. One of them was 17 in 2007. Really MTV? You couldn't have done any better than that? I think I conceived my youngest child in 2007. If you haven't seen this show, don't worry, the network miraculously airs it 25 hours a day. I'll be impressed when you make it "When I was 5." You know that Trident commercial where the mom comes into the room and is like, "What are you doing?" And the daughter says, "Ummmm...fighting cavities." Then the son turns around and get this shit, his face is covered in makeup! Fucking genius! You see how that works? We got sucked into thinking one thing, and unbeknownst to us, a completely different scenario was playing out.
My point is, someday, someone clearly more brilliant then myself, will produce a show called When I was 5. This little kid will be a 315 pound alcoholic child molester living in his parent's dungeon/basement. "Yeah, when I was 5, they made me do this commercial where they painted my face like a retarded lesbian clown and made me say hi mommy with a shit-eating grin on my face. And you're surprised I ended up like THIS?"
Fuck Justin Beiber. Is that even how you spell his name? Hold on, I'll look it up, you lazy fucks....no it's Bieber. Who cares? Take those ridiculous shades off, you're inside fucko!
It's 6:45 a.m....I must have just gotten home from the gym.
I haven't seen it but I'm guessing in the movie Just Go With It....Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston wind up in love. ***SPOILER ALERT***!@!@#%#$%!@#$^^%$!!!!
Spoiler alerts are gay. If you don't want to know what happens in a movie before seeing it, either read the title of the article or review or blog or whatever...OR, Go see the fucking movie dip shit! (There it goes again. Spell check doesn't question the fact that I used the words dip and shit, as long as they're not put together, as in dipshit.)
Speaking of Adam Sandler movies, go watch the climactic scene of every one of his "romantic comedies" and tell me it's not the corniest shit you've ever seen. That doesn't mean I don't like his movies.
"We've had a taste of lion, and you know what? Lion tastes good. Let's get us some more lion."
867-5309, what fucking AREA CODE!! PLEASE!!
"If you take the N off of Nice, you get Ice, baby." Actual quote from Ice Tea, who was relevant before 50% of both of you reading this was born.
SPOILER ALERT!!! Gary and Amber are still fighting and making up and generally just being terrible parents in the new season of Teen Mom.
I forget what else I was gonna say. Ah, the beautiful mind of a bipolar with mild anxiety disorder. And this is me ON my meds. Thanks society! Goodnight! Yes it's 7 a.m. and it's only ok to say goodnight at this ungodly hour in Vegas or some other debaucherous place, but not in a small town in the great Commonwealth of Massachusetts, and especially when the name of that town is Plainville.
Oh yeah, Tom Cruise has ALWAYS been bat shit (bat shit, not batshit, for those scoring at home) crazy, why is everyone so surprised by the last couple years?
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