Las Vegas gets a bad reputation, at least from people who have never been there. For those who HAVE been to the happiest place on Earth, (sorry Disneyland), Vegas is a magical playground where inhibitions are thrown to the wind and visitors can step outside themselves for a few days and be whoever they want.
Sometimes those who travel to the desert oasis just bring out the darkest, most evil, soul-less versions of themselves and unleash them on the strip like the Roman Army of General Maximus. If you're lucky enough to escape Vegas with any money, your liver, and your dignity in tact, then you've made out pretty good. This is very rarely the case, at least in my numerous Vegas experiences.
To my friends, I'm sorry in advance. The following is a list of things should have stayed in Vegas:
Going to the Crazy Horse II as the sun rose over the mountains only to spend a combined $1,500 on strippers who we were convinced would hang out with us when their shifts were over.
Trying to make sweet love to a fake camel at the Luxor.
Being thrown up on by a strange girl while swimming in the pool at the Hard Rock.
Going to a hotel room party with a group of Canadians where there was an actual large, living iguana.
Having food delivered to the hotel room via room service and subsequently destroying every piece of glass by either smashing the glassware on the floor or on each other.
Sitting in the jacuzzi the next day along with most of the glass from the previous night while singing the Canadian National Anthem.
Two friends drunk hugging...one of them completely naked.
Open hand slapping a midget inside the club at Treasure Island.
Starting a fight with the entire bar at the ESPN zone inside New York, New York during game 7 of the Eastern Conference Finals after the Celtics beat the Cavaliers during the game featuring the epic battle between Paul Pierce and LeChoke James. (This was BEFORE everyone hated him and everyone at the time hated the Celtics, and therefore, hated us.)
Running across the nearby 8 lane highway on foot in order to get to In and Out Burger; dodging vehicles being driven 65 miles per hour by people who would not be bothered by smashing into a pedestrian. What is it with my friends and carelessly running across highways? At least one of us will definitely be seriously injured by a vehicle while on foot, I'm convinced of this.
Trying to convince a cab driver to find drugs and ultimately succeeding.
Slipping in a puddle of urine in the bathroom at the Luxor pool and then rinsing off in the pool.
Waking up 35 minutes before the flight home after sleeping on the ground, propped up against the hotel couch with a slice of pizza half way in the mouth and half way on the chest, after sleeping for the first time in 4 days.
Bringing home a very special souvenir from a very special, very expensive young lady.
Yup, these are my friends.
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